It’s Like Riding a Bike

Do you remember the time that you learned how to ride a bike? 

I’m sure you do.  I’m sure most of us do. 

I’m sure that most of us will remember that tentative period between the day the training wheels came off and being sufficiently competent to ride unassisted. 

Flying solo as it were. 

Getting better at it, every day. 

Sure, you had some scrapes along the way but all-in-all you got better and better at it.  And the better you became the more you enjoyed it; because, it brought a new found feeling of confidence, a sense of enjoyment, a sense of purpose and empowerment.  All pretty exhilarating experiences for someone under the age of ten. 

It was such a sense of emotional achievement that it became one of the small milestones in your life.

And that’s why you remember it.  The sense of unqualified yet qualified mastery. Some of you will be visualising it – right now.  And feeling that sense of euphoria you felt on that day that you learned to ride your bike.

Now imagine if you could recreate that experience in the workplace.  Imagine if you could recreate those emotions in people that work for you and with you.  Now that would be quite something wouldn’t it?

You see, success breeds success.

Employees who are supported and coached throughout challenging processes have their intrinsic esteem-needs rewarded by their success which, in turn, provides the motivation to progress.

Without encouragement and the provision of a safe and blameless environment, most of us would still be riding our bicycles with training wheels attached – too fearful to allow anyone to ever remove them. Someone probably taught you how to ride your bike – even if they only gave you a few pointers to get you going.

So, who caught you when you fell and who was by your side to encourage you? Who cheered with you when you finally made it without falling over and scraping your knees again? Whoever they were; they were supportive, encouraging, patient and forgiving. And undoubtedly, within weeks of celebrating your success of going solo – you were looking for obstacles to go through and ramps to jump off as you pursued new challenges in your riding experience.

Research shows that when people feel intrinsically motivated, they enter into a high performance state, predominantly fuelled by three fundamental human needs:

First, is a sense of purpose - the need to feel that we are contributing and progressing towards something that is worthwhile and achievable.

Second, is in mastery - the sense of being competent, celebrating our successes and expanding our abilities.

And third is autonomy - the desire for self-direction and choice. The freedom that learning to ride provided us with.

If an employee is fortunate enough to work in such a supportive culture which encourages ambition and talent to flourish – then it’s conceivable that challenge pursuance will be the norm.

With best wishes,

Keith

'It Was Like Running Around Naked' - The Fear of Leadership

“Daddy, can you draw me a picture of Sponge Bob and all of his friends – smiling?”

I was greeted with this request having just climbed out of my bed on Saturday morning.  “Can you?” “Pleeeease?”

“I can’t do that!” I said.  “You see, Daddy’s not very good at drawing…”

I looked for my wife.  She was sitting on the couch talking on the telephone to her brother.  “She can’t help me here”, I thought.  “C’mon Dad” he said, now pleading; standing in front of me with an A4 sheet of paper in one hand and a marker pen he’d taken from my office in the other.

I’m no artist.  And his request, levelled at me so soon after I had woken up had shaken a hidden insecurity from deep within me.

I can’t draw!

I knew that whatever I attempt I made would look ridiculous and nothing like the yellow sponge character and his underwater friends.  My immediate response was to look for a way out.  I wanted to refer the job to someone else; in this case, my wife.  She’s good at art – and through her repeated efforts has become adept at drawing Nickelodeon sea folk. But she was still on the ‘phone, embroiled in conversation. And he was, still standing in front of me, in his pyjamas, with greater expectations of me than I had for myself.

Have you ever seen the movie Terminator 2?  If so, you will probably remember the scene where Arnie is teleported to modern earth and arrives in his birthday suite?

 

He then struts about for a while without a care in the world.  He eventually goes to a nearby bar, still naked, and walks up to a local henchman and says quite matter-of-factly, “I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle".

Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? 

 

I used to have a dream – some may call it a nightmare; about suddenly finding myself in a public place - usually it was at my old school, and I’m trying to hide from everybody because I’m as naked as Arnie was in T2.  Unfortunately however, in my dream, I lack the nonchalant confidence that Arnie possessed.

At the start of my dream, no one knows I’m there.  I’d be hiding amongst the coats and bags that used to hang near the lockers and restrooms.  So my objective was to escape the premises without being seen.  In my dream, I always failed.  I’d be spotted and then ridiculed with the entire school population chasing after me whilst laughing hysterically.  I have no idea about the meaning – or why it occurred with so much frequency in my adolescent life.  All I remember about waking up was the stark contrast between the fear and the relief I’d feel when I realised it was just a dream. 

In Susan Jeffers’ acclaimed book, ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway - How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action’, Susan provides plentiful advice on how to overcome fear of issues like public speaking; making decisions and asserting oneself amongst others.  What we all need to appreciate is that fear isn’t a sign of weakness – it merely serves as a reminder that the scary situations we find ourselves in may have repercussions. 

Leadership roles are places filled with fear potential.  Perhaps that’s why so many people avoid such responsibility.  To some, being put in the position of 'Leader' is akin to being stripped naked and thrown into a public place.  Yet, despite this, history is peppered with ‘fearless leaders’.  Great men and women prepared to stand and fight for what they thought was right; despite being undoubtedly scared inside.  People like Rosa Parks, Gandhi and others overcame their fears and as Jeffers’ puts it, ‘did it anyway’.

Fear is normal.  Fear is okay.  It's perfectly normal for a leader to feel scared at times.  After all, leadership can be a very lonely place.

So, I decided to tackle my fear, took the paper and pen from my little boy and drew him a Sponge Bob.

“That’s good Daddy” he said.  “What is it?”

Wishing you every success and the power to overcome all of your fears,

Keith

 

PS... I'll be back!  (sorry, couldn't resist!)

 

With acknowledgement to Tristar Pictures

 

 

 

 

Discuss... Does experience of bad leadership predispose you to becoming a good leader?

I’m sure we’ve all had some experience of poor leadership, ranging from the not-so-good to the downright shocking.   

In my early career, I saw many people abuse their positions of authority to the extent that some so-called leaders resorted to physically assaulting their team members.  Fortunately, this was a long time ago and employment law would now land the perpetrators swiftly in the courtrooms.  However, I like to think that the impact that such behaviours have led me to think to myself, “I will never be like that”.

Similarly, throughout my life up until the complete breakdown of our relationship, I have learned some harsh lessons from my father of how not to behave.  My early work and family experiences have led me to conclude that you have choices.  It would have been an easier option to adopt the styles of those that had been placed in positions of authority over me and use the defence of ignorance to protect me from blame, or, I could learn from their mistakes and vow never to repeat them nor establish them as patterns of my own behaviour.   

In truth, it’s my belief that those experiences have made me a better person because I can empathise with people who are subjected to poor leadership both at home and at work.  I still make mistakes and bad decisions; but don’t we all?  But the fact that I can admit to my shortfalls makes me a better leader because along with empathy I can demonstrate humility.  Both are key components in effective leadership and emotional intelligence.

Now doesn’t this all appear to be a bit self-congratulatory? I guess it does to some extent but that’s really not the point.  The point is this question and the answer to it:

Does experience of bad leadership predispose you to becoming a good leader?

If the answer is in the affirmative, then what does that tell us about people fortunate enough to have had a happy and supportive childhood who have only ever experienced good leadership? 

The answer lays in role-modeling. 

But for the person who has no positive role-model I argue that it’s probably easier to make the choice as they will have encountered first-hand the results of poor leadership.  This throws up another question:

Does this mean that those with positive experiences may lack to ability to empathise?

For me, the jury’s out on this one.

What do you think?

Wishing you the best in all that you do,

Keith