Discuss...Do you do BAU???

BAU – or ‘business as usual’ is an expression that I hate.

I see it used as a cop-out.  It’s nothing more than a lazy statement that tells everyone that your intention is just to do ‘the same old, same old’.

Unless your BAU is to strive forward each day with the enthusiasm of a starving dog scoffing 

stolen food, then all you’re really saying is “I’m not going to be doing anything different.” 

So tell me this Mr or Ms Complacent...Why should I continue to bother to employ you? Why should I continue to pay you good money to sit on your rump doing ‘BAU’?

I want people working hard in my team; working hard in the belief that they really are making a difference.  I want people who are seizing the moment and every possible opportunity to make things better.  To sell, produce and market our products so that we’ll all reap and share the dividends in the style of medieval kings and queens at a sumptuous banquet.  I don’t want passengers.  I want participants. I want people that have bought-in to my vision and agree with my strategy for growth and ambition.  I want to be the market leader.  I want my people to want me to be the market leader.  I want to rob opportunities from others and watch them wither and die as I leave them in my wake of profit, profit and more profit.  I want to be known throughout the world.  In fact, I want to DOMINATE the world!  You must be always thinking up ways of increasing my profile.  When you wake up, shower, drive to work, drive home, eat your dinner, when reading your kids their bedtime stories and in your dreams.

So you see, your weak and pathetic BAU just doesn’t cut it.  Not with me.  Not on my watch. You have no excuses.  Not one! NEVER!

Unless of course, I missed something?   

Maybe I didn’t tell you that this is what I wanted.  That it’s what I expected from you.  That this is the contract between us.  It’s your job.  You won’t find it written down so don’t bother looking, but I was sure that I had made myself clear? 

Clear?

Clearly not!

All employers want this from their workforce.  Most don’t get it.  Possibly because they may have hired the wrong people.  Possibly because the conditions aren’t right and the resources aren’t there.  Possibly because the workforce is de-motivated and isn’t being engaged.  Possibly a mixture of all of these things? 

How do you get people to buy-in to your vision? 

Simple! 

You have to sell it to them the same way that you want them to sell it to your prospects.  They must be enticed.  They must get a seat at the banquet table so that they can see, touch and eat the rewards.  Failure to reward leads to complacency at best and total de-motivation to the point of inertia at worst.  Nobody works for free.  Not for very long anyway.  In the same way that a dog will eventually refuse to chase after a stick if it’s not praised for doing so; people will lose ambition if they think that they’re just being slogged for your benefit.

Not many people get anywhere in business without the help of others.  

So why don’t we look after those who work for us if we really want to dominate the world?

I’d be grateful for your opinion.

Wishing you the best in all that you do,

Keith

Discuss... Does experience of bad leadership predispose you to becoming a good leader?

I’m sure we’ve all had some experience of poor leadership, ranging from the not-so-good to the downright shocking.   

In my early career, I saw many people abuse their positions of authority to the extent that some so-called leaders resorted to physically assaulting their team members.  Fortunately, this was a long time ago and employment law would now land the perpetrators swiftly in the courtrooms.  However, I like to think that the impact that such behaviours have led me to think to myself, “I will never be like that”.

Similarly, throughout my life up until the complete breakdown of our relationship, I have learned some harsh lessons from my father of how not to behave.  My early work and family experiences have led me to conclude that you have choices.  It would have been an easier option to adopt the styles of those that had been placed in positions of authority over me and use the defence of ignorance to protect me from blame, or, I could learn from their mistakes and vow never to repeat them nor establish them as patterns of my own behaviour.   

In truth, it’s my belief that those experiences have made me a better person because I can empathise with people who are subjected to poor leadership both at home and at work.  I still make mistakes and bad decisions; but don’t we all?  But the fact that I can admit to my shortfalls makes me a better leader because along with empathy I can demonstrate humility.  Both are key components in effective leadership and emotional intelligence.

Now doesn’t this all appear to be a bit self-congratulatory? I guess it does to some extent but that’s really not the point.  The point is this question and the answer to it:

Does experience of bad leadership predispose you to becoming a good leader?

If the answer is in the affirmative, then what does that tell us about people fortunate enough to have had a happy and supportive childhood who have only ever experienced good leadership? 

The answer lays in role-modeling. 

But for the person who has no positive role-model I argue that it’s probably easier to make the choice as they will have encountered first-hand the results of poor leadership.  This throws up another question:

Does this mean that those with positive experiences may lack to ability to empathise?

For me, the jury’s out on this one.

What do you think?

Wishing you the best in all that you do,

Keith

Beating the Brats..How to recognize when the person you’re trying to communicate with is stuck in ‘child-mode’...

It’s frustrating isn’t it?  Even more so when that ‘child’ is someone in a position of authority from whom you may be seeking authorization on an important project or mature and insightful input in an urgent matter.  We’ve all been there I’m sure.  I’m also confident that we’re all guilty of similar behavior ourselves from time to time.

Experts in Transactional Analysis tell us that there are 4 types of child-like behaviour. 

They are: Adapted child (positive or negative) and Natural (or Free) child (positive and negative).

I’ve re-branded them in a simplistic fashion so that they’re easier to recognise when you next come across them.

Adapted child (positive) is reasonably complicit, but only because they refuse to take responsibility for their own destiny.   They are resource-hungry individuals who will swallow up your time and energy like a stray dog let loose in a cake shop.  You will have encountered this type of behaviour in people whose immediate requirement is for you to hold their hand in order to get them through their day.  The ability to make decisions without your input is non-existent.  Oh yes, they may seem quite cute and innocent at first but you’ll soon start to consider good hiding places when you see them approaching and even wonder how they ever managed to dress themselves and make it into work.  I often refer to this type of person as, ‘Hopeless Brat’.  

Adapted child (negative) is a much worse individual.  You’ll be glad to spend your days with their opposite number as soon as you meet them.  Single-minded and sulky individuals who when things don’t go their way will stamp their feet and behave like a child caught in the infantile syndrome knows as the ‘terrible twos’.  They’d scream the place down if they could get away with it and will often do things just to spite people and situations.  If you’re old enough to remember the Richmal Crompton’s ‘Just William’ novels then you’ll recognise the similarities between this person and the Crompton’s lisping fictional character Violet Elizebeth Bott; who’s typical response when being denied her own way was, “I'll thcream and thcream 'till I'm thick". Therefore unsurprisingly, the tag that this individual is awarded is, ‘Spoiled Brat’.

Now let’s look at the other mode of ‘child’, starting with natural (or free) child (positive).  Natural child (positive) is motivated by praise and prefers to work in an environment that allows them free-reign to do what they want.   That said, the product of their efforts is often immature and usually worthless.  Typically, they fail to understand where the boundaries are and often don’t just cross the line but metaphorically pole-vault it by acting inappropriately at the most inappropriate of times.  They’ll say that they’re just injecting some humour into the situation when in effect, they’re embarrassing themselves and everyone unfortunate enough to be connected to them.  For the sake of easy recall, I’ll call this character ‘Silly Brat’.

On the other hand, natural child (negative) sits at the wildly irresponsible side of the spectrum.   They will usually blame others for their misgivings and offer weak excuses such as lack of training, lack of support, and lack of competence in others for their own shortfalls.  Purposefully devious, they tote a large blame-thrower and they’re not afraid to use it, often telling stories that are untrue in order to seek a blameless existence.  Timelines are meaningless and they are usually late with pretty much every aspect of their being.  They hold scant regard for systems and processes and view them merely as barriers that have been put in-place purely to prevent them from operating.  They fail to take on-board the potential seriousness of a situation believing that they’ll continue to be owed a living and that they’re irreproachable.   We’ll call this person ‘Delusional Brat’.

So there my friends is our brat-quartet.  The trick of course is to guide them out of this mindset and behaviour to bring them back into Adult-mode; if only to negotiate your business and get some definitive level of cooperation.  It’s not always easy, I’m sure you’ll agree.  But the worst mistake you can make is to mirror their behaviour which invariably results in a form of brat-tennis as you both attempt to score points to win the brat-battle.  One law of Transactional Analysis is that reciprocal behaviour builds a cyclical series of exchanges where no party ‘wins’ and no progress is ever made. 

So, remain calm when you are next confronted with a brat.  Consider their motivators and play to their needs so that you can win them over to your level of conversation and thinking. Above all, try to recognize brat behaviour in yourself and beat it down with an enthusiastic smack as soon as it starts to rear its ‘bratish’ little head.

Wishing you luck in all that you do,

Keith

Some Leaders say the dumbest things

Following the reported death of Osama Bin Laden, I was astounded to read on the BBC News website that Ed Miliband, the leader of the UK Labour Party (the second most powerful political party in the UK) had said: "The world is a safer place as a result of the death of Osama Bin Laden because he is no longer there to command or encourage terrorism."

That must be the single most stupid thing I’ve heard from someone who now leads the party that secured over 8-million votes in last year’s general election.  Miliband was promoted as Leader of the party following Gordon Brown’s resignation almost immediately after he lost his Prime Ministerial position.  (Remember Gordon?  In case you’re struggling, he was the Prime Minister that was once described as being emotionally unintelligent by his predecessor Tony Blair).

Now, despite the above rant; I’m not really a political animal.  Not in the governmental sense anyway.  In the governmental sense I’m fairly apolitical because like most people, I find the duplicitous behavior of many government ministers across the political divides to be unctuous at best.   Frankly, it turns me off politics almost altogether.  However,  I do vehemently oppose to people in authority, especially those who represent over 8-million other citizens; purposefully spouting wrong, misleading and wholly dangerous information. 

Leaders can’t be right all of the time, but they really must take accountability for saying stupid things.  Without being so arrogant to second-guess what the demise of Osama may bring.  It really doesn’t take an expert in Global Terrorism to predict that the chances of retribution are highly likely.  The world is not a safer place Mr Miliband – far, far, from it.  Ed Miliband is either incredibly naïve, incredibly stupid or behaving immorally (a combination of both), to suggest that it is. 

So why did he say it? 

Was it said not to panic people and thereby lull them into a false sense of security? 

No, I don’t think it was.  That may have been a reason if he was the Prime Minister but he isn’t so that nullifies that theory.  

So, did he say it because he actually believes it?  If that really is the case then it tells me that this guy shouldn’t be trusted to run a bath, let alone a mainstream influential political party – or worse, the United Kingdom.  

Maybe he said it because he was the last on the list to be interviewed and wanted to say something, just anything, and did so without applying any due forethought prior to opening his mouth?

Whatever his reasons, I will now always question his credibility as a potential leader of the country or of any serious organization. 

And that’s the key point of this message. 

What you may unwittingly say as a leader can cause untold damage to your credibility.  Granted, this is really basic stuff, but so often people who should know better can easily fall into the trap; be it through complacency, arrogance or simply not knowing enough about a subject to make a well informed statement. 

If you’ve got nothing to say then surely it’s better not to say anything. 

Or if you’re an influential political leader of the opposition, hire someone to coach you through the importance of effective communication and image.

Wishing you well in all that you do,

Keith

So, you want to be emotionally intelligent?

You could spend fairly sizeable chunks of your money in testing your quotient of emotional intelligence.  Or, you could take an on-line test for free which will give you some idea of where you stand in the EI charts but this type of ‘free’ test is usually nothing other than an enticement to buy something else. 

So, how can the average Joe (or Josephine) undertake a fairly reliable though admittedly unscientific, test in order to gauge where they’re at?

Simple!  Follow the instructions below:

Find a space where you can think without interruption or distraction.  Chose a place where you won’t be disturbed for about 20-minutes.  Have a pen and paper close by and relax.  Clear your mind of all thoughts.

Now...  Chose one person with whom you are familiar with on a personal basis.  This person must be someone with whom you’ve either worked with, worked for, or have been taught by etc.  It could even be a parent if you’re really stuck.  However, above all things, this person must have left an indelible positive impression on you by the way that they’ve conducted themselves in the past.  Think of the fine examples they’ve set.  How they’ve looked after people and how they’ve acted as a great role model to you.  Keep this person in your mind for at least 5-minutes or so.  Run through your memory bank of times when they really stood out.  When they really impressed you to the point when you thought “Wow!”  “I wish I was like that.” 

When you’re ready, write down adjectives you would use to describe this person to someone who had never met them.  Single words you’d use to describe their greatness.  Make a list of about 5 to 8 words.  When you've finished, set the paper aside and prepare to relax again.

This time, with your mind cleared, start to think of a person who has left the worst possible impression on you from a role-model perspective.  The anti-role-model if you will.  As before, think of the times that this person has made you angry, disappointed, frustrated, maybe even close to tears (or worse).   

When you’re ready, grab your pen and paper and start to compile your list of adjectives that you’d use to describe this person to a third-party.  Go for about 5 to 8 words, same as the last time.  When you’ve finished, put the pen down and set the paper aside. 

Now, just spend a few moments thinking about the differences in the two people you’ve thought about.  You’ll have fond memories and feelings towards the positive role model and will undoubtedly be feeling more than a little bitter about the negative person that you’ve forced yourself to remember.  It’s important right now to try not to dwell on the negative person.  After all, this person was an idiot.  And you don’t need to be wasting your time and energy on idiots.  You won’t get the time back and you’ll just feel depressed.
 

Now, look at the two lists that you’ve written.  Chances are the words you’ve chosen are opposites of each other (or very similar to opposites).  As you look at them again I’m sure you’ll begin to think of more words to write but there’s really no need.  You’re work here is almost done!

It’s safe to say that all of the positive adjectives, attributes, labels – call them what you will – are emotionally intelligent traits and characteristics. 

Your next task is to rearrange the positive adjectives that you’ve compiled into an order of which holds the most importance to you.   So, for example, if you’ve written ‘honest’, ‘friendly’ and ‘empathetic’ you need to re-write your list starting with the attribute that holds the most value to you at the top and work your way down.  Once you’ve completed this part of the exercise, you now need to ask yourself in all honesty, if you possess any of these attributes. 

Now, grade each of the attributes (out of 5 – with 5 being the highest) how ‘honest’, ‘friendly’ or ‘empathetic’ you really are.  So, you may score your level of honesty as a 5 (well done!); you may have awarded yourself a 3 for empathy (now you know there’s room for development to the power of 2) and so on.  The idea of course, is to identify the attributes and values that you share with your positive role-model and see where the room for development lays.  Once you’ve finished marking your list you must now make a solemn pledge to yourself that you will make conscious effort to reach a grade 5 in all of the attributes – starting with the ones at the top of the list as those are the ones that you’ve decided hold the most value.

And that’s it!  I did say it was simple didn’t I?

Not only have you produced your list of emotionally intelligent attributes, you’ve also set yourself a positive challenge to develop yourself in these areas.  Furthermore, you’ve also identified a person from your life that has influenced you and undoubtedly has influenced others because they were or are highly emotionally intelligent.  I know it sounds a little corny but next time you’re in a dilemma about how to behave or react to an idiot; ask yourself ‘What would my positive role-model do in this situation?’

Oh!  And about the list of negatives from that idiot you’ve resurfaced form your past? (or maybe present!)  Well, here’s what you do.  You look at the adjectives on that list and swear to yourself that you’ll always make a conscious effort never to act like that or become a replica of your anti-role model.  And once you’ve read it and made your promise to yourself – rip it up and throw it away.  You don’t need it.  After all, it’s nothing more than an idiot’s handbook.  And you my friend, are no idiot!

Wishing you all the very best, in everything that you do.

Keith

“If I’d wanted to be popular, I’d have joined a boy band.”

So went the saying that was used with abandon by so-called people managers during my former career.  Statements like that and the other usual one-liners such as, “I’m not here to be popular” or “I’m not here to make friends.”

But what are they really saying each time they say these things?  That they’re ‘professional’.   That they’re tough?  That they’re fair?

It has been said that there’s no lonelier place than that occupied by the leader.  Because sometimes, leaders have to be brave, give bad news and make tough decisions.  They have to be able to have those courageous conversations; so, in order to protect themselves; some feel it necessary to give a prior warning or a constant reminder of their position of authority; that they are not here to make friends or to be popular.  That they are here to do a job and sometimes doing the job means that sacrifices have to be made – and that those sacrifices can be human (not in the literal sense of course!).

But for me this whole thing is unnatural when it comes to effective or authentic leadership.  And this is why:

In his critically acclaimed book ‘Motivation and Personality’, Abraham Maslow produced his ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ pyramid which provides a straightforward pictorial theory of what Maslow considered to be the layers of basic human need.  Each layer of need must be fulfilled before the individual can advance to the next level.  Maslow’s model is shown below:

At the third level, Maslow identified that we all desire a sense of belonging.  That we possess a need to be identified as a member of something.  Be that a family, a circle of friends, an association, a club, a boy band even!   

One only needs to witness a major sporting event to see this principle in action.  Spectators or fans will adorn themselves with their team colours to affirm their belonging to one and all.  The camaraderie that goes with being a loyal supporter, the singing and chanting of club songs that they’ve all learned, the shared ecstasy of victory and the crushing depression of defeat that only a fellow supporter would understand.  Humans are social animals after all.  So why would someone who has accepted the responsibility of leadership appear to go out of their way to distance themselves from the rest of the pack – the very pack of which they are the leader?  Doesn’t this go against Maslow’s theory?  And more importantly; can an unpopular leader - lead effectively if at all?

Maslow’s fourth level is ‘Esteem’.  Having accomplished the previous level of ‘Belonging’ Maslow said that in order for the individual to meet their esteem needs they must believe that they have secured the respect of others.  Furthermore, the individual must also have developed a strong sense of self belief and have their esteem-needs have been met by recognition of their own accomplishments.  Whilst it is arguable that the individual concerned may genuinely feel that they have ‘arrived’ by virtue of the fact that they are in-charge of others, how does this measure up to what we know of emotional intelligence?  To be truly emotionally intelligent the individual must be aware of the impact of their own behaviour on the people that they are leading in addition to the impression they leave on their peers.  For someone to consider it appropriate to say “I’m not here to be popular”, must recognise the negative effect of such a statement and in turn, be aware of that negative impression they have made.  If not then they are by definition, emotionally unintelligent.

To conclude, it is my belief that those making bravado-statements regarding their lack of care toward their own popularity are kidding themselves.  Despite the external persona these people may wish to display, there’s no getting away from the fact that all leaders like to be liked; especially by those whom they lead.  Every people manager wishes to consider themselves to be a good leader.  And all good leaders are popular with their followers. For followers will only follow people to whom they are attracted and who they believe will look out for them.   

So carefree nonsense statements about popularity are merely a mask to either hide under confidence in their own ability to lead or  to give the impression that they are strong and courageous leaders who will take no prisoners in order to achieve the task.  The worse case scenario is that they think that they are leading when in reality, they aren’t really leading at all.  For what they are saying and displaying are the polar opposite characteristics of what makes a good leader.

I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts.

Wishing you well in all that you do,

Keith

Family... The toughest management Job in the World!

I’ve been involved in some challenging situations in my time.  For example, during my military career, I’ve been shot at on numerous occasions, survived a helicopter crash landing and had quite a number of near misses.  I was once even taken hostage by a local militia group.  All fairly stressful I’m sure you’ll agree.  But nothing comes close to my latest challenge...

I’ve been given the responsibility of caring for my three-year old son and have assumed the role of housekeeper whilst my dear wife has been incapacitated.  “This should be a breeze.” I told myself.  How wrong I was!

I’ve never seen the movies ‘Kindergarten Cop’ or ‘Daddy Day Care’ but I can immediately relate to the concepts behind them.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not for one minute saying that men can’t manage their children as well as women can.  That would be a slur on stay-at-home Dads and House Husbands the world over; but my new-found responsibilities have thrown me new challenges; despite my knowledge and experience of leadership and management.  And at times I admit it’s been almost overwhelming.

The thought that such a little person could be even more demanding than the most disgruntled employee was beyond my expectation.  He’s an only child so it seems that his only source of entertainment is frankly, making my life a misery at times.  There’s literally no escape!  Not even during the most private of moments when you’re trying to answer the call of nature only for the door to burst open and he’s stood there asking for his play dough or worse, attempts to sit on my knee when I’m mid... Well, you know what!

Of course, there’s very little chance of reasoning with him.  We’re stuck at the Parent-Child mode of transactions.  I can tell him not to do something because it’s dangerous, like wanting to play with a bottle of bleach or mess about with the kitchen scissors and he gets it; but only for a second and he’s off to perform another equally hazardous stunt with a live cable or his latest pursuit of ‘fridge climbing’.  If it wasn’t for his back catalogues of ‘Sponge Bob Square Pants’ and ‘Dora the Explorer’ I think I’d be close to being certified by now.   

So I sit alone at night, when he’s finally gone to sleep, thinking of ways to communicate with him at a level that he understands.  I don’t really appreciate him trashing the beds I’ve just made or flicking strawberry yoghurt at the dog and the television.  How do I get through to him?  What are the salient points in effective communication have I learned and even preached over the years can I employ in these situations?

I guess the answer lays in prioritisation and empathy.  He has priority in all things.  His needs come first because he’s three-years old and can’t yet comprehend or compromise.  I need to always remember and understand that!  So Adair’s ‘Individual Needs’ circle from the Systems/Functional Approach to Leadership model is the only thing that I can call upon.  I can’t sit at my desk and work or network or blog all day.  I have to ensure that his need for stimulation is catered for and that we use the time wisely because we’ll never get it back and because we’ll both learn things through the process.  If he makes a mess, I’ll just have to tidy around him or wait until he’s gone to bed and clean up.

On the up-side I’ve taught him to catch a rugby ball and how to handle a tackle.  He can now belch with the expertise of a Dock Worker and can kick a ball straight with both feet.  I’m very, very proud.  

But I have to admit it’s getting easier with practice.  And in reality, it’s me that’s doing the learning more than he is.  I have to learn to tolerate and understand his situation and his limitations.  Like anyone ‘in-charge’ of people should do.  And best of all, I now fully appreciate and can now claim to be sufficiently qualified to empathise with my wife and full-time parents everywhere. 

So, hats off to those engaged in full-time parenthood and to those juggling childcare with work commitments, I salute you!

Best wishes,

Keith